My reasons for fasting are simple and complex all at the same time. There is no single reason greater than another that i decided to take on this fast, except that as i prayed a out what to do about many issues i will discuss in a moment, the feeling was strong that I should fast. And as I prayed to know for how long. 40 days came to my mind and it felt right.
So let me tell you what brought me to this point...
In early 2013 i spent several month caring fir and watching a man I didn't know but a few months, but loved already, pass away.
The day after he passed, my teen nephew who had been staying with me, and I felt like he was a son. Broke my heart and left. With no reason or excuse. The timing was bad, I was an emotional wreck.
The next 2 years caring for his wife, who became a very close friend like another mother. These two years became very stressful, and i lived on pepsi and beef jerky a lot.
Towards the end, her care became completely on my shoulders, as she was unable... 3am wake up calls. Ambulance trips to the ER. Needless to say I lived on adrenaline and cortisol. And not much real food.
When the time came that she passed, i was suddenly lost and had forgotten how to live normally. I was addicted to cortisol and adrenaline. I found myself creating drama and stress that didn't need to be there. I felt like I had just lived something no one could understand...
I worked hard to attempt to overcome this addiction. But found it difficult. I had also gained weight, I was now 280lbs.
I decided to give up pepsi, work on eating right, and did lose a little weight, and found myself somewhat happier.. though I unrealizingly replaced pepsi with additional sugar...
A year after her death. I broke my back in 7 places. Had my own ambulance trip, and stay in intensive care. I also got a severe concussion.
My body healed quickly. Walking with a walker within a week. And up and about within a month. Released from physical therapy within 6 months.. amazing recovery for my body.
But my mind was still scrambled. A deep dark depression settled in over me, I am not unfamiliar with depression. But never had it been this dark... No one even seemed to recognize... A walking depression i think it called. Still had a life to live... Kids to care for animals to care for.
Though i stopped most of my hobbies in the name of my bad back. The reality is I had lost interest.
As a part of my physical therapy, i had begun square dancing again with my kids, and found i really enjoyed that. I was able to ignore the rest of my problems when dancing.
Then alas, more drama... I got sucked into a situation caring for a teen girl, turned out she was being raped by the square dance caller... I really liked him. But even as I write this, i am sitting in the DAs office a witness a year later..
I came to really care for that girl. Who needed a lot of help. I am still involved with her, but not so much. It's stupid, but she said something to me that hurt very deeply and i realized she didn't really care about me, but was only using me. I let her sometimes, because i know she still needs guidance and friends. But this set that deep depression even deeper.
The next few months were dark and ugly. I couldn't find my way out, and my husband only could suggest i look in the brighter side...
I started reading about depression. Looking for answers. Why was i depressed. Why did I have this addiction to pepsi and sugar (which during the stress I reached out for my comfort drug of pepsi.
I learned about different types of depression dopamine and seratonin, i learned about how these are connected to other hormones like estrogen and progesterone, and weight gain, stress etc. (I will post my findings about that soon!)
My periods had started changing before i broke my back. And they were getting painful and heavy. My obgyn said to take some Tylenol, no big deal, it was just over active prostaglandins.. (what are these??)
In the meantime, I quite spontaneously, compulsively picked up a new substance that took away the depression instantly. As long as I was on it. And now i was hooked to a new addiction. But I won't tell you what. I am ashamed, and scared to make it public. I have children and they dont need to know..
As soon as I took my first dose, i was both desperate to give it up, and desperate to keep the happy. I researched its affects on my mind. Why did it make me happy. Dopamine release. I discovered I was dopamine depression. Having consumed caffeine and sugar so much to the point of depleting my dopamine resources like a cocaine addict. The pepsi was no longer doing it for me. And that is why i sought out this other substance.
It was used medicinally as an antidepressant it turns out. So i convinced myself it was ok to self medicate.
I researched prostaglandins. But still felt like something was wrong. So I searched for another gyn. And found someone who listened. About the depression and the hormones.
After some blood work, She said I was estrogen dominant. This made sense! I went and studied some more about how estrogen effects dopamine. More about this in the science sections...
I read about and learned about all sorts of imbalances. Relating to dopamine. How to restore naturally, or with vitamins the dopamine stores. Eating fish and almonds. Taking amino acids. And I started taking a natural progesterone cream..
The progesterone made weight drop off me like nothing before! Its what my body needed, balance.
Giving up pepsi was hard went through withdrawls and headaches. Then i gave up white sugar.
White sugar is scientifically as bad for you and as addictive as cocaine and crystal meth. And the withdrawal period is months long. With depression, fatigue, shakes.. post on that coming soon...
So. Here I am horribly malnurished for many years of poor eating habits. Imbalanced in every way. Angry, addicted to depressed without my substance, and desperate to get off this substance and be me again...
Science shows that the body can cure itself of all of this, with therapeutic fasting. That is water only.
So my purpose to fast is first and foremost to cure my addiction to my substance. And so far 6 days in and not a single craving or withdrawal stronger than i can handle.
Secondly to correct hormonal imbalances.
Third to correct bad gut. And start fresh.
Fourth, to allow my body time to heal completely. During an extended fast, the body uses up toxins for fuel first before fat. Then it uses other bad or unwanted tissue, un healthy tissue, before fat. So I am hoping the pain in my back and arm that has been here for years, which the drs. Say is nothing. Will go away.
Fifth, to conquer the natural man. And put him under subjection to my will, and turn my will to the will if God.
Sixth. And not to say last in importance. To cure my depression once and for all.
In this process, I will not only cease to take in food. But also work to declutter my house, my mind, and my schedule. Learn to breathe more, drink more water, and control my tongue and my time.
I will fast from speaking, and from my phone towards the end. I will increase my scripture habits and pray more.
I am not doing this to lose weight. Though it may be a result. I can only do it, because i have enough to lose.
4 day fasts begin the process so if your interested in Fasting, but dont have 30lbs to safely lose, try a shorter fast 4-10 days. Read my other posts coming soon about different types of fasts. And what happens when you fast. And work with a plan tjat fits your needs.
And as always consult with a doctor. Though good luck finding one who thinks its ok. Naturalpathic drs. Are more likely to support you and work with you.
And no matter your goals. Listen to your body, is it detoxing or does it need food.
So let me tell you what brought me to this point...
In early 2013 i spent several month caring fir and watching a man I didn't know but a few months, but loved already, pass away.
The day after he passed, my teen nephew who had been staying with me, and I felt like he was a son. Broke my heart and left. With no reason or excuse. The timing was bad, I was an emotional wreck.
The next 2 years caring for his wife, who became a very close friend like another mother. These two years became very stressful, and i lived on pepsi and beef jerky a lot.
Towards the end, her care became completely on my shoulders, as she was unable... 3am wake up calls. Ambulance trips to the ER. Needless to say I lived on adrenaline and cortisol. And not much real food.
When the time came that she passed, i was suddenly lost and had forgotten how to live normally. I was addicted to cortisol and adrenaline. I found myself creating drama and stress that didn't need to be there. I felt like I had just lived something no one could understand...
I worked hard to attempt to overcome this addiction. But found it difficult. I had also gained weight, I was now 280lbs.
I decided to give up pepsi, work on eating right, and did lose a little weight, and found myself somewhat happier.. though I unrealizingly replaced pepsi with additional sugar...
A year after her death. I broke my back in 7 places. Had my own ambulance trip, and stay in intensive care. I also got a severe concussion.
My body healed quickly. Walking with a walker within a week. And up and about within a month. Released from physical therapy within 6 months.. amazing recovery for my body.
But my mind was still scrambled. A deep dark depression settled in over me, I am not unfamiliar with depression. But never had it been this dark... No one even seemed to recognize... A walking depression i think it called. Still had a life to live... Kids to care for animals to care for.
Though i stopped most of my hobbies in the name of my bad back. The reality is I had lost interest.
As a part of my physical therapy, i had begun square dancing again with my kids, and found i really enjoyed that. I was able to ignore the rest of my problems when dancing.
Then alas, more drama... I got sucked into a situation caring for a teen girl, turned out she was being raped by the square dance caller... I really liked him. But even as I write this, i am sitting in the DAs office a witness a year later..
I came to really care for that girl. Who needed a lot of help. I am still involved with her, but not so much. It's stupid, but she said something to me that hurt very deeply and i realized she didn't really care about me, but was only using me. I let her sometimes, because i know she still needs guidance and friends. But this set that deep depression even deeper.
The next few months were dark and ugly. I couldn't find my way out, and my husband only could suggest i look in the brighter side...
I started reading about depression. Looking for answers. Why was i depressed. Why did I have this addiction to pepsi and sugar (which during the stress I reached out for my comfort drug of pepsi.
I learned about different types of depression dopamine and seratonin, i learned about how these are connected to other hormones like estrogen and progesterone, and weight gain, stress etc. (I will post my findings about that soon!)
My periods had started changing before i broke my back. And they were getting painful and heavy. My obgyn said to take some Tylenol, no big deal, it was just over active prostaglandins.. (what are these??)
In the meantime, I quite spontaneously, compulsively picked up a new substance that took away the depression instantly. As long as I was on it. And now i was hooked to a new addiction. But I won't tell you what. I am ashamed, and scared to make it public. I have children and they dont need to know..
As soon as I took my first dose, i was both desperate to give it up, and desperate to keep the happy. I researched its affects on my mind. Why did it make me happy. Dopamine release. I discovered I was dopamine depression. Having consumed caffeine and sugar so much to the point of depleting my dopamine resources like a cocaine addict. The pepsi was no longer doing it for me. And that is why i sought out this other substance.
It was used medicinally as an antidepressant it turns out. So i convinced myself it was ok to self medicate.
I researched prostaglandins. But still felt like something was wrong. So I searched for another gyn. And found someone who listened. About the depression and the hormones.
After some blood work, She said I was estrogen dominant. This made sense! I went and studied some more about how estrogen effects dopamine. More about this in the science sections...
I read about and learned about all sorts of imbalances. Relating to dopamine. How to restore naturally, or with vitamins the dopamine stores. Eating fish and almonds. Taking amino acids. And I started taking a natural progesterone cream..
The progesterone made weight drop off me like nothing before! Its what my body needed, balance.
Giving up pepsi was hard went through withdrawls and headaches. Then i gave up white sugar.
White sugar is scientifically as bad for you and as addictive as cocaine and crystal meth. And the withdrawal period is months long. With depression, fatigue, shakes.. post on that coming soon...
So. Here I am horribly malnurished for many years of poor eating habits. Imbalanced in every way. Angry, addicted to depressed without my substance, and desperate to get off this substance and be me again...
Science shows that the body can cure itself of all of this, with therapeutic fasting. That is water only.
So my purpose to fast is first and foremost to cure my addiction to my substance. And so far 6 days in and not a single craving or withdrawal stronger than i can handle.
Secondly to correct hormonal imbalances.
Third to correct bad gut. And start fresh.
Fourth, to allow my body time to heal completely. During an extended fast, the body uses up toxins for fuel first before fat. Then it uses other bad or unwanted tissue, un healthy tissue, before fat. So I am hoping the pain in my back and arm that has been here for years, which the drs. Say is nothing. Will go away.
Fifth, to conquer the natural man. And put him under subjection to my will, and turn my will to the will if God.
Sixth. And not to say last in importance. To cure my depression once and for all.
In this process, I will not only cease to take in food. But also work to declutter my house, my mind, and my schedule. Learn to breathe more, drink more water, and control my tongue and my time.
I will fast from speaking, and from my phone towards the end. I will increase my scripture habits and pray more.
I am not doing this to lose weight. Though it may be a result. I can only do it, because i have enough to lose.
4 day fasts begin the process so if your interested in Fasting, but dont have 30lbs to safely lose, try a shorter fast 4-10 days. Read my other posts coming soon about different types of fasts. And what happens when you fast. And work with a plan tjat fits your needs.
And as always consult with a doctor. Though good luck finding one who thinks its ok. Naturalpathic drs. Are more likely to support you and work with you.
And no matter your goals. Listen to your body, is it detoxing or does it need food.
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